More Pillow Talk with Nina Hartley

If you have been waiting, here is part two of my interview with Nina Hartley. In part two, Nina talks about ageism in pornography, how her own sexuality has evolved and what makes a good scene in porn.

Ashley: Because you have been in the industry, since you were 25, have you noticed positive changes in pornography or any ageism?


Nina: I don't think the ageism in the industry is any worse than it ever was. Now there is the category of the best MILF performer or MILF of the year, as well as Starlet of the year. The best MILFs in town are Tonya Tate, Vicki Vett and there are a few others that are older. The idea that a MILF could be someone who could be 26 drives me crazy. To me MILF automatically means a 36 year old person because as an adult you had a baby, and now that baby is an adult. So you're a mother with an adult child. That is an annoying thing to me that MILF could be someone as young as 26. With that being said, I don't see the ageism as any worse.


Ashley: How has your own sexuality evolved since you’ve been in porn?


Nina:  My sexuality: there is my onscreen sexuality and my private sexuality. My onscreen sexuality is pretty much toppy. I can run the scene even though I look like I am in the subservient position. I don't orgasm easily from intercourse. My orgasm is not why I am in porn. Some women have orgasms regularly in porn...yay them! Right on! I'm exhibitionistic. I get alot of ego gratification. More importantly I got a controlled environment in which to learn about myself and my own sexuality and sexual needs without the messiness of trying to pretend that I want to be in a relationship. I don't have to pretend that I love you or that I'm happy to date you or go to dinner with you. When I go to work, I know that you and I will be in a sexual situation later.


Ashley: What makes the scene a positive experience?


I'm going to have a direct conversation with you. With male-partnered people, I always say, "besides not sticking anything in your butt, is there anything I must not do?" Most guys go, "Besides the butt thing, I can't think of anything." I'll say things like, "just so you know, you can't insult me. I will do what you want happily, so don't ask what you don' want. Cause I'll do it." So if you say, "harder, harder," I'll do it harder, so don't say anything for effect. Don't say anything cause you think it sounds hot, because I don't care what I do to you. I have to know what I cannot do to you. You can ask me to do anything, because all consensual behavior to me is acceptable and it's work. I do want to make a human connection with you, so I prefer a partner that will look me in the eye. The best partners are for the next hour and a half you're the hottest person I've ever met. For me, as a female, who does not have to get an erection, I can almost find anything authentically interesting or sexy about the person that I can focus on. If our personalities mesh, I always like to work with them. I'll always say yes to work with them.  Shawn Michaels is one of my dearest friends and oldest partners. We don't have any off camera contact or relationship. Our entire relationship is on camera. The love and affection is clearly there. That is where we leave it and put it. The best male partners to work with in my personal view; Marco Banderas, Evan Stone, Shawn Michaels, and a couple of others. They love women as an idea and I'm one. I don't need them to be in love with me, but I need them to act that way for an hour. The best guys are the ones who just really dig chicks and their job is making love to chicks. When they get to work with me it's really a win-win situation. Then there are the people I work with of various ages...Oh Jake Jacobs, he's him Jay Crew is his screen name. He is often a DILF. He's a great guy and he loves women. He loves pleasing them. I'll totally work with Jake anytime because I'm going to have fun with him.


Ashley: What makes a scene difficult or a person difficult to work with?


Nina: The ones I have the worst times with are the young men who are struggling with their exhibitionism. They end up looking at my ear or over my head. They are so busy trying to stay hard, they can't make a human connection. The men in business have a harder time, their erections have to be authentic and their orgasms have to be authentic. They have to find something to up for or off with. That's why I try to be as helpful as possible. I don’t want to make a difficult job any more difficult. Even then, there is a certain group of men in pornography who have sex with women on camera, but they don't hang out with them off camera. They don't have girlfriends, they don't have female friends, they don't seek out female company. They play their video games, they go to the gym and they hangout with their dude friends. They're not gay because they have sex with women, but they are not otherwise heterosocial. That could be research paper some day.


There is your Nina foreplay for the month. Be sure to check back in the next month to see the last part of my interview.