In our busy modern day society we have forgotten how to grieve. This may sound a little absurd, since there really isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. In most cases if you’re still working, you may get two days off work if a loved one dies. So if your partner, parent, child or sibling dies, two days is supposed to be a sufficient amount of time to pull yourself together and get back into the swing of things. It doesn’t seem realistic. Then a few months later you are at the doctor because you have chest tightness, stomach issues or migraines. 

 

Grief affects us on a cellular level. It invades our minds and gradually spreads throughout our bodies. When we avoid grief it builds up. It's like a bottle floating in water, the more sand you put in, the more the bottle will sink. That’s how grief and depression affect us.  Grief can also result from a loss of a job, death of a pet, retirement or divorce. If grief isn’t confronted it can have an effect on health. Here are some common, but not all,  symptoms of grief:

      The Pain Of Grief
  • Sadness, possible crying
  • Irritability, anxiety
  • Shock, numbness
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Relief
  • Inability to concentrate to make decisions
  • Sense of things not being real
  • Absent-minded
  • Lack of energy, fatigue
  • Muscular weakness
  • Irregular heartbeat
  • Digestive upsets (constipation, heartburn, diarrhea
  • Loss of libido
  • Social withdrawal
  • Sleep disturbances

Never put a time limit on your grief and if you know someone who has lost something or someone don’t expect them “to be over it.” It’s not that simple.  Realize you never “get over it.” Would you really want to completely get over it and wipe that person or experience from your memory? The pain of the loss eases and at times the pain ebbs and flows. In order to help yourself while grieving the best thing to do is face your grief; talk to someone, go see a therapist, or go to a grief support group. Eventually you will begin to heal.

 

 

 

 

 

“Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity... The only cure for grief is to grieve.”

                                                -Dr. Earl A. Grollman