Ask Ashley

Dear Phil,


I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a partner is very difficult, but it is good that you recognize that isolating is not a good thing to do.


I would encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Everyone grieves differently and know that this is your journey. If the grief becomes overwhelming, seek grief therapy or another type of counseling.

To answer your question, try going to a senior center or senior program. There are numerous activities and it might be good for you to pick up a new hobby or activity. Also, it is a great way to meet people. Many senior centers have trips. Community centers and churches may also have activities to join.


As far as dating, let it happen organically. It can be daunting to date again after you have been out of practice (so to speak). There is always online dating, but not everyone is comfortable with that. It can be less daunting to let it happen organically. Many times intimate relationships start out as companionship, playing cards together, getting coffee, etc. The key is to find a balance between letting yourself heal and putting yourself out there. Only do what is comfortable for you.




If you would like to ask Ashley a question, email her at

Dear Ashley:


I lost my wife six months ago. I have been isolating and I know that’s not good. I’m not sure whether I’m ready to start dating or even how if I wanted to. What can I do to meet people and/or possibly start dating?


Phil, 70


All Rights for the images reserved to Hernan Irastorza from flickr